Remember: How you raise your child is nobody else’s business

leopard print cardigan

If Esme wants to kiss me on the lips, then she can!

As most of you are aware, it’s been in the news recently that Dr Charlotte Reznick said that kissing children on the lips is too ‘sexual’ and confusing.

At first I didn’t pay this much attention, but after seeing all the beautiful photos surfacing of people kissing their children on the lips on social media, I decided to read in to what was actually said.

I found out that Dr Charlotte Reznick had said that a kiss on the lips ‘can be stimulating’ for a child, and added: “If mummy kisses daddy on the mouth and vice versa, what does that mean, when I, a little girl or boy, kiss my parents on the mouth?”

I found this a very weird thing to say, and I proceeded to ask a few adults what their opinion on it was. Most were outraged by the comments, but a few agreed, saying it was ‘disgusting’, which really got me thinking. While I was surprised that some people had a problem with it, I realised that what Dr Reznick has actually done, is make parents question how they show their child affection.

Parents question themselves from the day they realise they’re having a baby. Pregnancy brings about a tonne of worries, such as what you should be doing, eating and drinking, just to name a few. Then, once the baby arrives, you’re already pressurised and judged about the way you dress, feed, or even hold your baby.

The list is endless.

I’ve never kissed Esme on the lips, but her dad has. But what the most annoying thing is, until now, I’ve never thought about it! I haven’t made a conscious decision not to kiss her on the lips, and now I’m questioning why – maybe I should? Maybe I shouldn’t?

Then, I came to the conclusion that is really doesn’t matter at all how your kiss your kids.

The statement that a kiss on the lips is too sexual, really is ridiculous. Where do you draw the line? Does that mean I have to be careful when changing her nappy and putting cream on her bum? Am I not allowed to hold her daddy’s hand, because that’s confusing, too?

It surprises me how many people have opinions on things that don’t even matter. From gender specific toys to how you kiss your baby – it really doesn’t matter in the slightest.

If Esme wants to dress in a Superman costume then she can, and if she wants to kiss me on the lips, then she can, and it’s nobody else’s business.

I remember dressing her in a Ramones jumper and jeans one day, because that’s how her dad and I dress! People would comment, saying: “People won’t know if she’s a boy or a girl!”

So what? She’s got a band t-shirt on and some jeans, just like her Mummy.

I often look in the boys clothing section, because there’s items of clothing in there labelled boys, but it’s actually unisex. I bought Esme a Tigger onesie from the boys section once – I have no idea why it was in there! But when she wears it, she’s not dressed like a boy, she’s dressed like Tigger.

We all just have to remember that it’s nobody’s business but your own how you raise your child, and as long as your baby is happy then who can fault you?


Comments

Remember: How you raise your child is nobody else’s business — 9 Comments

  1. Great post. So true. I missed this furore, but agree that it’s up to the family. Izzy is going through a stage of coming up to us and kissing us on the lips. It is done so innocently and I’m sure we would do more damage by refusing her affection. She also keeps licking my hand and pretending to be a dog but that’s all part of growing up, ey? lol xxx

    • Exactly! There’s no way I’d refuse her.
      Haha! I wouldn’t worry about it – I used to pretend to be a dog from the age of about 5 until 10 years old (maybe 11?).
      Was the best game ever, though a little embarrassing for my parents. Especially the times like when I decided to turn into a dog in Lidl and licked someone’s shoe .. 😛 xxx

  2. totally agree. the kissing debate is crazy: why is this a subject for debate?! I like the comment above about the child licking her daughter’s hand like a dog: where does that fit within the esteemed Doc’s idea of appropriate??!
    Great post. real food for thought. 🙂

  3. Hear! Hear! If people supported each other during parenthood instead of constantly criticising what they’ve decided to do I think the cases of PND and other anxiety disorders would be far less.
    On a side note; I didn’t kiss my son on the lips until he started kissing me (on the lips, I may add), this wasn’t a conscious thing at all and now it’s one of many places I kiss him. It’s not sexual, a child doesn’t look at their parents kissing and think it’s sexual, they don’t have the comprehension of what sexual is but if someone is uncomfortable doing it, then that’s their prerogative surely. The fact of the matter is that we love and care for our children and that the child feels loved and cared for.
    Great post!

  4. Yes! I agree with you! I don’t know why people always feel like they need to comment on how other people raise their kids. Her comments were absolutely ridiculous! My son – who is very much a stereotypical boy – recently started wearing a beaded necklace he had made himself and so many people felt the need to tell him it was for girls. It drove me mad! My daughter also had a Tigger outfit when she was a baby, which has been worn by all three of my kids. Like you say, gender is irrelevant!

  5. This is a fantastic post. I kiss my 15month old on the lips an he kisses me on the lips and there’s nothing sexual about it. I agree with you if a kiss on the lips is sexual then why haven’t they raised the point of changing nappies or bathing you child. It’s ridiculous for them to say it sexual. Well done on the post

  6. I have a 15 year old son and two daughters aged 8 and 10. My girls always give me a kiss on the lips at bedtime and can continue to do so until they decide not to. It’s been years since I’ve kissed my son on the lips; it wasn’t a decision I made, to not kiss him on the lips, it was just a natural progression.
    I read the article and I think it’s a total load of rubbish!

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