Music has always been something I have loved. When I was little, I would perform songs by the Spice Girls and Cher to my family in the living room, and love every second.
As I grew older, I began singing regularly in talent shows and did a few gigs of my own. My music style has changed over the years, and whereas once I was singing pop song covers, I’m not longer intersted in them any more.
My interest lies with punk rock and ’emo’ music.
It dawned on me the other day, that some of my favourite albums of all time are nearing, or are over, ten years old.
This year, AFI’s Decemberunderground album will reach its tenth anniversary, along with My Chemical Romance’s The Black Parade. Panic! At The Disco’s album, A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, however, will be reaching its eleventh anniversary in 2016.
It made me realise how fast time has gone, and how music has shaped me into the person I am today.
All three of those bands got me through my teenage years, and here I am, ten years later, still listening to them, and still loving them.
My mum used to have the family computer in her bedroom, out of the way, because she would worry it would be too imposing down stairs, so it took its space in the corner of her room.
I would sit upstairs for hours for hours on end with my headphones in, listening to songs by AFI on repeat, such as Miss Murder, Love Live Winter, Bleed Black, Girl’s Not Grey and Silver and Cold.
I would watch the music videos, and wish I was as cool as them. I desperately wanted the same hair cut as Davey Havok, but didn’t quite have the guts. I did however, try to replicate his make up, and his cool stare.
At the time, I thought I nailed it, but now I’m not so sure!
I’d listen to them and want to be like them. I bought tonnes of black skinny jeans, black t shirts and fake converses from Shoe Zone, because I couldn’t afford real ones. I wore sh*t loads of eyeliner, and those ugly striped emo gloves.
But, I felt part of a community. AFI made me feel like I belonged somewhere. My Chemical Romance and Panic! At The Disco did the same.
The Black Parade was the first album I ever bought. If I ever felt insecure, they would pick me up and give me the confidence to be who I wanted to be, or maybe, who I really was. I incorporated their music into my art work in school, because it meant something to me. You can see my art work below!
I wasn’t cool. I never was. But it didn’t matter, because these guys were heroes in my eyes.
In addition to watching AFI music videos on repeat, I did the same with the other two. I absolutely loved MCR’s music videos to Famous Last Words, Welcome To The Black Parade and I Don’t Love You.
I wasn’t as keen on their song Teenagers as everyone else was. It was a good song, but everybody raved on about it so much. Famous Last Words was probably my favourite. I loved the lyrics, and I loved their sound.
“I am not afraid to walk this world alone …”
Panic! At The Disco were my idols. A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out doesn’t have a bad track, and I still know every word to every song on it. The songs that are my favourite though, had to be ‘Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have …’ and ‘I Write Sins Not Tragedies’.
Me and my mates (you know who you are) used to hang out together after school (when I wasn’t listening to music on the computer) and play these songs over and over again on our phones.
Mobiles weren’t so music friendly back in the day, so you could only have two full songs on them at most, and those two were the ones. We used to debate at length which one to have as our ring tone. Normally, ‘I Write Sins’ would win, but only because the introduction was louder.
All three bands have gone on to release further albums, all of which I have loved. But these three, were the ones that changed my life. They made me who I am. They affected the way I think, act, feel and dress.
If it weren’t for music, I don’t know who I would be. And for that, I thank them all.
My GCSE art work: