Be who you are

Even though I’ve left The Pembrokeshire Herald, I still send in my weekly column to be published every Friday. This week, I spoke about how women are portrayed in the media, much to my distaste.

In magazines and on the television, women are shown what is fashionable and what is not. And, one of the things that I really hate – especially in magazines such as ‘Bella‘ or ‘Hello‘  – is “Who wore is better?”

For those of you who may not know, this is a feature where two photographs of celebrities are put next to each other, and both of them are wearing the same dress. The magazine then says which person looked better in that particular outfit, and goes on to say exactly why that said person did or did not “wear it better”. You can find an example of this below, and I’ve posted one without the tick or the cross, because to be honest, everybody looks just as good as each other.
Photo credit:

Photo credit:

As if women aren’t criticised for what they wear enough anyway, we then have the people that we look up to being shamed for their body image. Ridiculed because someone was showing a bit too much cleavage, or their clothes were slightly too tight.

We’re also showed women who have just become mothers, whose bodies look just as fantastic as they were before they had children. We’re told that if we are young, then our bodies will “snap back,” but this is not the case. Our bodies don’t snap back at all, and it gives people an unrealistic idea of themselves after they give birth.

The reality is very different. Most of us will not look like we did before, and our bodies will be changed forever.

Women are told that we shouldn’t wear too much make up because it looks “fake” or “plastic,” and that wearing make up is deceiving, and when women wear make up they’re “lying” about what they look like. But, surely people aren’t silly enough to think women genuinely have gold eyelids?

We’re told to look natural, because it’s “more beautiful.” But, if a woman does not wear make up, she’s judged even further, as people will think she does not look after herself. That she’s “let herself go.”

Many women will feel that they cannot leave the house without make up, because they do not feel pretty or confident enough. And, to be honest, some days I feel the same.

I've always loved my make up!

I’ve always loved my make up!

You know what I say? Do what you want. If you want to wear black eyeshadow and red lipstick, do it! Don’t buy into what the magazines say, when they tell you that you can’t have dark colours on your lips and your eyes.

If you want to wear high heels, but the “designers” on the television have told you that you’re way too tall to wear them and you’ll be towering over everybody else, don’t listen to them. Wear those heels and strut your stuff around the town.

Dare to be who you are and who you want to be. For anybody to tell you how you should look or how you should act is disrespectful to who you are as a person. There is only one of you, and you are unique.


Be who you are — 6 Comments

  1. Your post resonates with me so much, especially as a single mum who’s dating in her 40’s, i’m so ashamed of my body because it’s a wreck and not like it was in my 20’s and I’m aware of all of these amazing women portrayed in the media and I think it massively influences not only what women think but also men’s expectation of how we should look. I desperately want to fight against this and I’m trying to bring my daughters up to believe they are beautiful and amazing and they should look how they want to and they shouldn’t conform but all around me the signals are that I’m wrong, I’m doing it wrong, I’m not good enough. #tuesdaytreasures

    • I’m so glad you liked it! I totally understand how you feel, but try not to be ashamed of your body. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes and have our down days, but take pride in who you are and who you want to be, and know that you know best for yourself and for your girls. Like I said, there is only one you, and you are unique <3 xxx

    • But you haven’t “let yourself go” at all! You just don’t want to wear make up, and that’s fine. It’s nobody else’s business whether you wear make up or not, and it’s ridiculous that women are expected to wear it every day. xx

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