A letter to Esme on the eve of her birthday

I read a blog a few days ago by Charlie O’Brien over at Real Girl Ramblings, who wrote a beautiful letter to her son, Noah, on the eve of his first birthday.

Whilst not wanting to be a copycat, I was inspired by Charlie, and wanted to write a letter to Esme on the eve of her first birthday, too.

I hope that one day, she will read this, and will know and understand just how loved she is.

So, here it goes!

Me looking rubbish, a few hours after Esme was born.

Me looking rubbish, a few hours after Esme was born.

Dear Esme,

Tomorrow is your first birthday, and I finally understand after all these years my mum would tell me her birth story every year, the night before my birthday. It was special, and it was a moment that I will cherish forever.

I cried when you were born, and probably will again tomorrow.

I hope the first year of your life has been as wonderful as it has been for your Dad and I. There have been hard times, but they were through no fault of your own. I wanted to be the perfect mum and I wanted to make your Dad proud. It took me a while to realise that nobody is perfect.

You are a beautiful brown eyed girl, who is full of wonder and joy. You’re adored by many, and you are the apple of your Dad’s eye, as well as mine.

Sophie is your biggest fan!

Sophie is your biggest fan!

Nanny Jill couldn’t believe that she was going to be a Nanny again, and couldn’t wait to meet her third grandchild when she found out you were on the way. Nanny Bev couldn’t wait to meet you either, and Uncle Andrew and Aunty Lynne were over the moon!

However, I do think your cousin Sophie might be your biggest fan!

Your days are filled with playing with Nanny and Bampi while Daddy and I are at work, and you greet us with a huge smile when we come to bring you home at the end of the working day. I think about you while I am away, and I wonder whether you have learnt a new word, action, or have learnt to walk.

You love to watch TV, and your favourite shows are Thomas and Friends, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Doc McStuffins and Little Princess, if we”re up early enough in the morning to catch it!

You also quite like a bit of Henry Hugglemonster now and again, and the odd episode of Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom.

You love to dance to the ‘Hot Dog Song’ from Mickey Mouse, and shout “dog” and “mouse” when it’s playing, and whenever you want to hear it. You also jump with excitement when you hear Thomas’ whistle at the start of the show.

Good read, is it love?

Good read, is it love?

In addition to kids songs, you also like to listen to the music that Daddy and I like to listen to. When you were in my belly, I used to listen to ‘Popstar’ by the Eureka Machines on repeat – all the time! When you were born, sometimes you would cry and we wouldn’t know what the reason was. But, you soon calmed down when we played ‘Popstar’.

You also enjoy listening to The Wildhearts, Rancid and The Used, and Dad bought you your first Wildhearts t shirt when you were just six months old. You looked awesome!

You love to talk, and started doing so at five months. You started off saying “Dad” and not long after that, followed the word “Mum.”

Once you’d started, there was no stopping you, and you now know a whole range of words! You can say Nan, Bamp, Ruby (the dog), What’s this and What’s that, shoes, button, balloon, mouse and dog.

However, your favourite word of all is “MINE,” which you shout whilst pointing at things that are most of the time, definitely not yours (sometimes they are).

Thankfully, you’ve been a great sleeper, and have been sleeping through the night since 12 weeks old. There has been a few times that you’d rather stay up and party (scream) all night, but you love sleep. So much so, that you slept through your first carnival, which included a fire engine sounding its sirens and a Samba band.

You can climb all the way to the top!

You can climb all the way to the top!

You’re almost walking, and have taken five steps by yourself so far. But, you much prefer to crawl, and make your knees red from time to time from doing it so much! You love to explore – especially things you shouldn’t. Such as the stairs …

You’ve done so much in just one year, and the time has gone so quickly that it doesn’t feel as though it should be your birthday just yet. I’m not sad that the “baby days” are gone, but I wish they had lasted a little bit longer. But it’s been wonderful to watch you grow, and I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do next!

I may have bought too much!

I may have bought too much!

So, I’m now sitting in my chair, writing this letter to you while you sleep soundly upstairs. All of your presents have been wrapped in Mickey and Minnie Mouse paper, and have been placed by the window next to your helium balloon.

I’ve put up your “Happy 1st Birthday” banners, along with the bunting, and have blown up a few balloons with Daddy. I know that you’re only 1, and you won’t remember the effort we have put into your first birthday, but I will. You probably have too many presents for your birthday, too (it looks like Santa has come again), but I just couldn’t stop spending! Oops …

Your first birthday cake!

Your first birthday cake!

Nanny has made you a beautiful Mickey Mouse Clubhouse birthday cake, and it looks amazing! You’re going to love it!

I hope you have a wonderful first birthday, little lady!

Love you millions xxx

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